Why you shouldn't compromise

Why You Shouldn't Compromise Your Happiness Because of Fear of Being Alone.

"& I've been having me a real fun time but it feels so nice to know I'm gonna be alright"

This Feeling, Alabama Shakes

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The amount of growth and things I have learned about myself this past year is unreal. I've learned to cope with anxiety and depression. I've learned what I want for myself. I've learned what I will search for in a partner. I've learned what values mean the most to me. I've learned to let go and trust God. I've learned that there are simply things we as humans cannot control. We can't control who choses to put us in their lives, but, we can chose who we want in ours. After a nasty break up it took me a while to date again. I took months just concentrating on myself, learning to put myself first and to just live my life the best I can and the way I want. So many years of my life I was trying so hard to please this one person and constantly needing validation due to my own insecurities. I constantly was feeling like I wasn't enough and I wasn't doing enough. After all of that, what I wanted more than anything from this experience was growth, and damn did I really give myself that.

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So like I said, it took me awhile to get back in the dating world and to even look at guys again but once I did, all it did was teach me things about myself and I am forever grateful for that. I had some wild and not so good first dates and some absolutely incredible ones. Although all of them may not of been great, I don't regret a single one because each one taught me a little about myself. I like to keep my dating pretty secretive. I don't really enjoy telling every detail to someone. This is because I am a hopeless romantic and I don't want to start painting a picture of this guy into something he isn't. I did this with my ex. Being that hopeless romantic I painted a picture of him that he just wasn't. That wasn't fair to not only me but to him as well. Not painting a picture of these guys was something I learned quickly not to do and the only way for me to accomplish this is to not really talk about them and just reflect on who they are and who I am. I wanted to start appreciating people for all their beautiful qualities, not for the picture I painted of them in my mind.

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With this being said, I've been patient. I feel no need to rush into falling in love with someone. Something else I learned is you cannot rush things like this. I am a firm believer love just happens and when connections happen naturally, well that truly is one of the best feelings in the world. There have been many times over this past year I could of sat down and committed to someone, but I decided I'm not ready and I'm not going to compromise just to not be alone. Let me go in deeper about what I just said. When I say I'm not ready it has nothing to do with my ex. It is because I am not completely happy with where I am within myself right now and thats okay. The growth and improvement I've had since a year ago is great and I'm proud of that but I also feel like I can do more. I want to be so content with myself that when I do decide to jump into that relationship I would 100% believe I'll be okay if they chose to no longer have me in their life. Past experience has showed me I haven't been that content with myself, ever. I could be with someone, I could not be alone but to me at this moment, that feels like giving up. I believe we all should be completely content with ourselves before investing ourselves into someone else. I think this is fair for not only us but our significant others as well.

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to sum up and give some advice:

Love yourself before anyone else. If you have the opportunity to take sometime to be completely alone and not rely on another person romantically, take it. I feel sad sometimes for people that have yet to experience this. I feel free, I feel young, I feel proud. I also know whoever I end up with, will get the best version of me because I waited and because I took this time for myself. I know loneliness is one of the biggest fears humans have, but you're never really alone. There's friends, there's family, and most importantly, theres yourself.

thanks for reading.

xoxo,

abby